


Is It Gay To Get Gay Married?

by amethyinst



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, Dialogue Heavy, Idiots in Love, M/M, Not a Single Brain Cell in Sight, absolute morons, background alynette and chlogami, one single mention of horny acts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24105661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethyinst/pseuds/amethyinst
Summary: “Jesus Christ, Nino, it’s three in the fucking morning. What the fuck.”“ALYA DID YOU KNOW ME AND ADRIEN WERE GAY FOR EACH OTHER?”“You’re fucking married, idiot. For three years. That’s gay. No shit. Is that it? Can I fucking go back to sleep?”Nino and Adrien are hit with the realisation that they are, in fact, gay for each other.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Nino Lahiffe
Comments: 15
Kudos: 151





	Is It Gay To Get Gay Married?

**Author's Note:**

> adrino rights

Adrien wakes at three in the morning to Nino on top of him on their bed, violently shaking the shit out of him. “Jesus, dude, what?”

“Adrien, I just realised. We’re not _just_ married. We’re _gay_ , bro.”

  
  
  


So -- the getting married thing. That had happened over Adrien’s 18th birthday bash weekend in Martinique, after Adrien had drunk enough tequila that _Hell yeah I’m my own person now, my father no longer legally owns me!!!_ had turned into _HOLY SHIT I'M MY OWN PERSON NOW, I LEGALLY OWN MYSELF???_

“Nino, Nino, Nino….I can’t do taxes. What the fuck even are _TAXES?_ I can perform the entirety of Mozart’s symphonic collection but I have no clue how taxes work,” Adrien whined from where he lay on the floor.

“If you can still say symphonic, you’re too sober. Open up, Agreste.” Alya, the most smashed of all of them, tipped another shot into Adrien’s waiting maw. 

Adrien’s whimpering did not cease. “Alyaaaaa. I can’t do _anything_. How do you do finances?” He shot up, hitting his head on the bar. “Oh my god. I don’t have dad’s blood money anymore. I have to get a _job._ ”

Marinette pet his hair soothingly. “It’s okay, baby bird. We will guide you. Everything will be fine. I will be your Iroh, and you my angsty fiery foster-son.”

“But I don’t have a _house_. I don’t have anywhere to _live_.” Adrien pouted, flopping back to the floor. “Just put me in a cardboard box, sweet Mari-o-mine. ‘Tis where I belong. A lost little kitty in a cardboard box in a nice cold alleyway. An alleyway near Nino’s though, so I can come over and play COD.”

Now, Nino sometimes had these things called _ideas_. Ideas like coating Gabriel Agreste’s clothing with itching powder. Ideas like filling Gabriel Agreste’s car with fish in the middle of summer. Ideas like glitter bombing Gabriel Agreste no less than five times. 

Ideas like marrying Gabriel Agreste’s son since the poor boy will definitely die if left to fend for himself.

“Dude, dude, wait. What if we got married. No, listen! All the finances and shit get combined, renting and buying is easier, plus there’s all that next-of-kin stuff. This way if you die in a car accident your dad can’t fuck you over, ‘cause I’ll be your next-of-kin. We gotta beat the system.”

“That’s an amazing plan,” whispered Alya with awe, she who was notoriously against all of Nino’s so called ‘idiot moron shit-dumb plans’. “Your dad’s gonna disown you anyway, why not have something in place to make sure you don’t become a cardboard-box-cat?”

Adrien was in deep concentration for about three seconds. “Dude, let’s get married.”

  
  
  


“We’re gay?”

“We’re gay.”

“But we’re married.”

“We’re _boyfriends,_ dude. Not just married.”

Adrien sat bolt upright in their bed. “Holy shit. We’re gay.”

\---

“Jesus Christ, Nino, it’s three in the fucking morning. What the fuck.”

“ALYA DID YOU KNOW ME AND ADRIEN WERE GAY FOR EACH OTHER? ”

“You’re fucking married, idiot. _For three years._ That’s gay. No shit. Is that it? Can I fucking go back to sleep?”

“Yeah, beating-the-system married. Screwing-Fuckface-Agreste-over married. Not _gay_ married!”

“You fucking...you got fucking gay married! I have the fucking paperwork in my draw right fucking now because no way am I trusting you idiots with it. You guys think cheese puffs and Baja Blast is a full course meal.”

“That doesn’t sound very gay of us…”

“That’s it, I’m hanging up. Call me about your magical gay life tomorrow.”

\---

“Mari, Mari, dude. Alya says she knew we were gay.”

“Adrien, I’m in bed with her right now, I know that. I woke up to you screaming down the phone about it.”

“Mari! I knew _I_ was gay. I knew _he_ was gay. But I didn’t know we were gay for each other!”

“It’s your three year anniversary in a week.”

“ _Mariiiiiii._ I have a _boyfriend_. What the fuck.”

“He’s your husband!”

_“Babe, just hang up. I want to sleep. Let them be idiots together.”_

“Yeah, Adrien, I’m out. Harass Chloé about this.”

\---

“Chloé, you’re not going to believe this.”

“Adrikins? What? It’s fucking...it’s three AM.”

_“Chloé, come back to bed…”_

“Is that Kagami!? Are you dating Kagami!? Wait, no, that’s not important. Chloé, me and Nino just found out we’re gay. No joke. Mari and Alya said they've known the whole time.”

“Jesus Christ you guys are so fucking stupid. I’m not even dignifying any of this with a response. I didn’t plan your anniversary for this shit. Kagami, you will not believe what that gay idiot just told me-”

\---

Adrien lay on top of Nino, head in his boyfriend’s (!!!!!!!) chest. “We’re gay married.”

“It’s hitting me, dude. It’s really hitting me.”

“We’re gay for each other.”

“I mean, are we sure? We’ve done gay stuff together, but are we gay?”

“Having sex with your best friend isn’t gay, I don’t think. It's just helpful.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Is getting married gay?”

“I don’t know, bro. But that means we have to get married again, gay this time.”

"I love you, dude."

"Love you too, bro."

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this is in an hour and it shows!!!! 
> 
> [follow my tumblr pls](https://miraculousladybrells.tumblr.com/) 🥺


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